My longing for you

I can’t sleep at night insomnia has gripped me

The same face does not leave me, it flashes again and again

The smile so warm calling out to me to come and hold tight

I can't seem to let go of something that has for so long been lost

There is an urge a secret wish, that I get it all back as mine

Though there is no hope that it will ever return, but I still dream on

My arms long to hold you and breathe by your neck

To lie in your lap and get lost in deep sleep and peace

The warmth which always kept me warm in the coldest of weather

The deep set eyes which gave out cries of longing and love

You are gone and diminished from this life

Yet why do I still feel you are there?

This ever aching heart screams out with pain

How do I start ahead when I feel so lost and alone?

Losing you feels like I have lost meaning in my life to live

The razor is still in my hand as I ponder to cut or let go

But you are tied so deep in me that it doesn't seem I could free myself

I let the metal cold surface touch my neck, as the blood shivers inside me

I am cold and limbless, the flowing blood is taking away the life you gave me

It does not pain anymore and the darkness does not bite

My eyes see nothing now as I have embraced the unknown

My desires my wishes are like a vast ocean 

They have now become vacant like a vacuum of silence

My mind lies still looking at you for one last time before everything ends