Thinking outside the box

Tinted under the shade of a broken yellow,
Staring through the sun as it coloured the sky,

The mornings were supposed to be beautiful,

But the endless days don’t count as living,

The body has long been separated from soul,

Watching yourself attempting to strive,

But it takes just a moment of glare,

One look at those emotions that sparkle a stranger’s eyes,

That love that flows between strangers,

But all you see is blood and darkness,

A swinging knife struck through the heart,

You pinch yourself to wake up from the nightmare,

But the pain remains as if it was real,

And you wonder whether all those cheers,

All those wonderful expressions of self love,

Were merely a futile attempt to be normal,

Be just like the world and give yourself a name,

You laugh just like people laugh,

Celebrating and hugging, cheering for the games,

And back at home its nothing,

Looking back at the day,

You count how many times you acted well,

And then the thoughts creep in whether you are really “nice” “normal” “sweet”,

And the stabbing continues until you are lost in the blood pool,

And right when you are ready to give up,

Someone says “hi” and you enter the vicious circle again,

To gain love so you can lose again.