Persistance

This anger I do not know where it comes from,
This emotion I do not know why I am wrong,
I tried as much as I could to stay bold,
I tried as much as I could to stay cold,
The tears still drip down my cheeks,
The salty water is my only warmth,
What was the turn that landed me here,
I feel no pain yet I am here,
Sadness has sunk deep within me,
I want to get up but it's got me on hold,
A voice is telling me I should be ashamed,
I do not want to hear my name,
Yet I do nothing to ease this guilt,
I keep on living breathing the poison,
The back of my head does tell me I am wrong,
My heart tells me to fall to my knees,
Still I get up and brush my teeth and get ready to go to work,
The book has been left on the table to gather dust,
I do not have the courage to clean my soul.